Enough
by Ally612
Summary: Of course, we ended up in bed together, her nails raking a path down my back, my kisses leaving little bruises on her chest. After all, it was us. We were Mark and Addison and that was how we worked. Edited August 14, 2009.


_Enough_

* * *

A/N: I've always been fascinated by Maddison and by 3.14, so I thought I would combine my love of these two things into a fic. I do hope you enjoy. Of course, I own nothing but my own thoughts and perspectives. Grey's Anatomy is not mine and neither are the characters I have written about.

Please enjoy.

* * *

Adjusting Burke's suit, I can see Addison out of the corner of my eye. Her brows are furrowed with concern; her eyes are lidded more heavily than usual. She's got great eyes, sexy eyes. I know I shouldn't be thinking about Addison, about sex, but I can hardly help it, even with everything else going on around me. She's watching the patient in the room. I can almost shake it off, this worry that had started to creep up my spine – after all, Addie's always been more concerned than most with the patients she treats. Almost. That last doubt lingers in my mind...for good reason, as she is about to show me.

"These batteries haven't been charging long, I'm guessing you've got about thirty minutes before they die and you have to come out."

That last brushing concern, that nagging feeling in my gut clenches when I hear her speak.

"Oh my God, the anesthesia's wearing off. She's waking up."

Addie's voice is flat, the same tone that she has every time she holds a scalpel, it is the tone that means she is about to do something extraordinary. It's the voice that was on my answering machine the night she left me for New York, it was the voice that made me drop everything and fly to Seattle, _twice_.

The patient starts to panic, gagging, her eyes bugging out of her head. _Shit,_ I think, _this is not good. _

"Thirty minutes starting now," Burke and Derek will go in and fix it, I know. But Addison is not satisfied with that, I can tell from her suddenly panicked tone. I need a few more minutes to get Burke and Shep in their hazmat suits..._just a few more, Addie_.

"She's fighting intubation!"

"We go inside before these seals are secure, we wouldn't last five minutes and she will die." Burke's voice is level, calm, the same voice he always uses.

Addison is not satisfied, I can see her fists clenching and unclenching, her fingers flexing, aching for something to do.

"These guys are two minutes out," I blurt it out on accident, warning her that she may have to watch this woman choke for another one hundred and twenty seconds.

Addison waits approximately one hundredth of my approximation before acting.

"She doesn't have two minutes," she murmurs, rushing toward the door. She puts on a mask and is gone before I can get to her.

I waited a fraction too long, but I call out her name anyway, hoping it will make her turn around and get out of that damn room.

I can see Burke look at Derek, who doesn't even bother to look worried. _Bastard_, I almost snarl at him. It's has been years since Derek had really cared about Addison, I didn't even bother feeling surprised. All I could think about was Addison anyway. Addison Forbes Montgomery, the woman who is unquestionably the only one for me. Her sharp laugh, her quick mind, her mouth on mine, the way her body arched against me, her breathy sighs - Addison had become my world in a way that I was scared to admit to even myself.

I completely ignored the other two men in the room, moving toward the window that opened up to the room where Addison was. She was crouched low over the patient, trying to hold her breath and reassure the patient at the same time.

"Get the hell out of there," I yelled, losing my composure immediately. That was my _world_ in there, the almost mother of my almost child. She was in there, breathing toxic air, tainting her lungs and making herself ill for some idiot patient who had incapacitated half the hospital.

"She's awake, Mark," she pleaded with me, her eyelids dropping even lower, "she's awake and open on the table," her voice was thickening, "I need to know her weight so I can dose her with..." she mumbled something, but I was too focused on the shaking of her hands, the way her body was curling up.

"She looks about sixty kilos," I managed. _Get out of there, Addie; get the hell out of there._ I had a death grip on the microphone in front of me, as if it deserved the crushing worries that my hand was imparting.

"It's okay," she gasped, "you're okay." She leaned her head back, visibly dizzy, "it's okay, got it."

Addison, my world, Addison, her smile, her eyes, rolling back in her head. Addison, falling. Addison? Addison!

She swayed precariously, knocking a tray of instruments to the ground. I reacted without thinking.

* * *

The next thing I knew, she was in my arms, out cold and barely breathing.

I immediately put her on a stretcher and strapped an oxygen mask on her face. Normally so flushed, her cheeks were drawn and chalk white. Her breathing slowly evened, but still seemed so shallow to my ears.

I wheeled her into a private room, grasping her hand and waiting for the nurses to answer the damn call button.

As soon as they entered the room, they ushered me out. I'm proud to say I made it to the men's room before I threw up. As I was washing my mouth out, spitting out the bitter, acrid taste of my lunch come back up to visit, I glanced at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still wild, all I was thinking about her, hoping to God she would be fine. Embarrassed, I had to turn away.

She'll be fine, I told myself. I knew she would recover, but all the same, it was Addison, the love of my fucking life, my whole goddamn world lying in the hospital bed. It was my best friend, my lover, my _everything, _that stupidly, nobly, risked her life for some random woman.

My heart throbbed and a lump rose in my chest. I could have lost her.

"Fuck," I swore, running my hands through my hair. I paced the corridor, knowing I had to get a grip on myself.

I never made it back to her room that day, but I had nurses monitoring her recovery faithfully. It seemed like every reconstruction patient in Washington checked in that day, because I was in back to back surgeries all afternoon and night.

I had just made it back to my hotel room, just stepped out the shower when there was a knock on my door.

It was her.

She stood there shyly, still pale, and asked if she could come in. When I opened the door to let her in, she grabbed me in the tightest hug she could manage.

I could do nothing but reciprocate. For what seemed like hours, I listened to her breath and felt her sigh into my chest. She would look up into my eyes every so often and I was content just to stare back. There were no jokes, no innuendos that night. I took what she offered me, I didn't dare ask for more. After all, she was breathing and I could only be grateful.

"That was so stupid." I whispered hoarsely. "So stupid, Addie." She looked up, love, companionship, regret...something nameless stirring in her eyes. I hesitated but followed through. "But I know why you did it, I understand that...and fuck me, I think I even love you for it."

Normally, this was where she protested, ran away, slapped my hands away, but instead, a contented hum rose from her throat and she laid her head back down_. Tonight she just wants to be loved_, I thought, _even if I'm not Derek, I'm enough...even if it is just for tonight_. And for that night, for that moment in time, I was okay with where I stood.

Of course, we ended up in bed together, her nails raking a path down my back, my kisses leaving little bruises on her chest. After all, it was us. It was Mark and Addison and that was how we worked. We made each other feel alive.

I wanted more. Of course, I wanted more. But for that night, being alive and being alive with her was enough.


End file.
